Tarted Up Daughters & Feminism

Dressing sexy has been around and frowned upon since some cavewomen decided to wear their animal skins on one shoulder as opposed to the dowdy sac style dresses of the more conservative cavewomen. Yet, Jennifer Moses' recent opinion in the WSJ has garnered a lot of attention lately.

I love reading through the comments section of these sorts of pieces. People get crazy and completely non sequitur. [Yes, in my world, one can be in a state of being that can only be described as non sequitur. :)]

In this particular comments section, people attribute the sluttification of our daughters to that of the feminist and sexual revolution. Some people are trying to make it a virtue and a victory. Others show it as a failure of feminism. The comments section argument then devolves into a "now you all wonder why you are all still single when we get the milk for free" battle.

Here's my take [based on the fact that I was once a provocatively dressed young single educated woman looking for a spouse who found one].

Girls dress tartish because they don't know HOW to dress sexy. They don't understand that putting together a sexy outfit is an art yet. They are learning. Just the right amount of cleavage or skin or leg leaves more to the imagination of a guy than showing everything. I think there are so many women out there who don't understand this concept that they don't know how to teach their daughters properly. Then they complain about their girls looking slutty.

If you are a single dad or a woman who just hasn't been good at fashion and makeup, do your daughter a favor and take her to the makeup counter at a department store and invest in some good makeup lessons. They don't cost all that much. Usually free, sometimes a minimum purchase.

Then, get her a subscription or two to a couple of appropriate fashion magazines. In Style is the best and People Stylewatch is also a good one for TEACHING about fashion and putting together an outfit without all of the anorexic imagery and oversexed ads. Also, they are not for old ladies. Back when I was a kid, my mom got me a subscription to YM. She said it was the best thing she ever did because I never went through "The Hooker Phase" that all the other girls seemed to go through.

Teach your girls to love their figures and HOW to dress instead of complaining about it. Give them the tools and they will make the better decisions. Proper fashion choices are just as much about education as sex is.

Now for my personal three step lesson on Finding A Spouse For A Feminist

1. Smile and Laugh.

2. Get fit. Get sexy. - Sorry, girls it's the most anti-feminist concept ever. If you want to find a spouse, you need to take care of yourself and make yourself physically desirable. It's simple math, the more guys attracted to you, the more potential mates you have to choose from. Once you are married and running around after kids, you can run around without makeup wearing comfy Birkenstocks all you want, but you ain't gonna get there without sexing it up while you're single. Spare me the whole, "I want to find someone to love me for me" shit. A man doesn't love you for being sexy. The sexiness just opens up the door to the possibility of him loving you. Step three is what will get him to fall in love you.

3. Learn to Cook a Good Roast Beast. - If you want a straight guy who loves women, then you need to learn to cook meat. The end. Guys like meat. You will find the occasional veggie guy, but as women, we all know how to cook veggies because we are fit and taking care of ourselves. See step two. If you find a guy who loves to cook, then be the best dishwasher you can be.

It's not hard. Pretend you live in the 1950's and are trying to rope a guy. Put on a pretty dress that shows off your curves and make him a roast. If you can make a good Manhattan or Old Fashioned, you are two steps ahead of the game.

I'm sorry. I wish there was a more feminist sounding answer for finding a husband. There isn't.

After nearly 7 years of marriage [which isn't really long in the grand scheme of things, we are still newlyweds really] my husband and I have had the conversation about what made the other one of us want to marry that person.

I knew the moment we first started talking that I was going to marry him. We just clicked. He was ridiculously smart, goodlooking, had a ripping sense of humor, and kind eyes [the Marine swagger didn't hurt either].

My husband's response, "I wanted to get to know you because you had a great ass and you usually wore high heels with pedicured toes. I liked that. I knew I was going to marry you the first time you made Jambalaya for me. Speaking of which... I don't think you've made Jambalaya since we've been married."

*Thinking about it, I don't think I've had a proper salon pedicure in over a year either and my footwear of choice these days are a pair of Birkenstocks with jeans. [But they are really CUTE Birkenstocks!]